I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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