You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it because I queefed?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
