Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
