His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.