Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.