I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?