he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea