i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He kissed a someone with a penis
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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