I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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