im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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