I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
