You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
