Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
