Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
