If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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