Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize