You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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