garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
