You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I wear drunk well.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
