Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
