While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
