She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
