so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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