wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
