So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
