sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
