And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
