it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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