once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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