the condom got lost in my hair
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im holly from the hills drunk
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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