I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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