And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
