just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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