She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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