True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
