Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
