hotel room ftw
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
