I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
