You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
