I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
