i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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