I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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