You really coming over, don't trick.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize