I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
