it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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