chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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