I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize