Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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