it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
