Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
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So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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