Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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