I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
