Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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