That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
