I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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