I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need moral support for this bender
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
