why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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