I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
