He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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